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December 7, 2005

Merry Christmas Las Vegas:
"lattés, cappuccinos, muffins and even more!"

i left Louisville, Kentucky for Las Vegas, Nevada last week.

everybody knows that what happens here stays here. so far, that amounts to $6.00--the total i dropped in quarter slots late last night.

i never cared for gambling. i think it's boring and stupid. but, i'm in Vegas and, well ...

the power of Vegas compels me.

i'm staying at a swanky hotel on the "Strip." so far, i hate everything about Vegas including my ridiculously oversized room...

...suite.

i feel the urge to call Louisiana and invite some displaced hurricane victims to crash at my place. everything is big here. finding my suite after check-in was a challenge. “just a short walk from the lobby,” my ass.

i convinced myself to go out for a walk tonight. get out for some fresh air. “walk the strip,” i thought. “grab a bite to eat.” i ended up walking through New York and then Paris before entering some ridiculously oversized shopping mall that had a ceiling painted to look like the sky at dusk. it was so realistic that it was creepy…

…in an Orwellian sort of way.

on my walk down the strip back to my ridiculously oversized room, i crossed paths with an open-air bus filled with happy gamblers. some cheered while others sang Christmas carols. the driver threw down a Bing Crosby version of Jingle Bells and picked up a loud speaker and shouted “Merry Christmas.” maybe it was my mood but that, too, gave me the creeps.

somehow, the act of celebrating Christmas in Vegas seems so absolutely gratuitous and incongruous. like, who would even notice if you took the time to throw up some Christmas lights anyway?

i took in a lot on my walk home tonight. here’s a list of a few things i observed and the thoughts they inspired:

• a tiny dry cleaning shop with a sign easily three times the width of the actual store front; everything is so oversized and over lit. a big sign even for a small business is a matter of survival. sign envy.
• discarded strip club promo cards litter the streets; more people are going to get laid in Vegas tonight than in any other state.
• so many light bulbs; you can see the strip from space. someone has to change all those burned out bulbs. if i get fired from my job, i could always get a job in Vegas.
• glass from broken liquor pints dot the pavement at every bus stop; conspicuous consumption.
• ”Lattés, cappuccinos, muffins and even more!” it's a casino! what sorry ass is going to pull a U-ee for that promo?! how fucking lame is that? what a waste of electricity. wait! that’s my hotel! this must be how Dorothy felt.

Posted by chadblake at December 7, 2005 11:23 PM

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