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October 3, 2005

anthropomorphic humor bugs me

i got robbed this weekend. i feel violated.

it all happened at Gold's Gym at Midtown in D.C.

it was leg day. i hate working quads and glutes. i feel the pain for days afterwards.

i am angry. i want to hurt the bastard who stole my money and cards. i want to break his bones--his nose, jaw, fingers.

i had to talk with Citibank representatives in f&cking Bangladesh again:

indian guy:i just need to verify your identity. [long pause]
me: uhm... ok.
indian guy: oh key [long pause] your name, sir?
me: chad ....
indian guy: oh key [long pause] your social security knewmber?
me: 055-55-5555
indian guy: address? ...city and state where you opened this account?... mother's maiden name?...penis size?
[45 minutes later] indian guy: the last ATM withdrawal you made?
me: Wachovia Bank for $40
indian guy: [long pause] no. the last ATM withdrawal you made?
me: huh? Wachovia Bank for $40
indian guy: [long pause] no. the last ATM withdrawal you made?
me: huh? YES! Wachovia Bank for $40
indian guy: [long pause] the last purchase you made with your card?
me: uhm... that would be Borders Books for about $50 last night.
indian guy: [long pause] no. how much did you spend at Borders?
me: i don't know! i'm calling you from where i just had my card stolen! i don't have my receipt! i told you, i spent about $50.00!
indian guy: [long pause] sir, i'm sorry. we're unable to identify you. you will need to visit your citibank branch on Monday.
me: ??? I JUST WANT YOU TO CANCEL MY CARD... [breathe] and have a new one sent to the address of record!
indian guy: i'm sorry sir. we're unable to identify you. you will need to visit your citibank branch on Monday.

he broke the lock off my locker, riffled through my backpack and lifted credit card and money from my wallet. he went to CVS and charged over $300.00, filled his tank with $45 worth of gas and, finally, called a merchant in New York to drop another $500.00 charge.

the kicker to this tragedy? i was on the phone with mr. india when that last $500.00 charge was posted to my citibank account.

i hate you citibank. i hate you more than the man who robbed me. i feel more violated by you than gym robber dude--that, while on the phone with you trying to convince your back-office work force of my identity, gym robber dude got away with using my identity...

...my money. money that you said you will still take from my account for at least 10 days until you "investigate."

Posted by chadblake at October 3, 2005 2:40 PM

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